My fabulous co-counselor, Karen, loves to try new things. We sit around and come up with crazy ideas in the hopes of meeting the needs that we see around our neck of the woods (not there are any woods in this desert...)! At the start of the year, we thought it would be a great idea to have a 4 week series for parents. So we put it in the master calendar... and promptly forgot about it! When January rolled around, we suddenly realized we were actually going to have to plan and present on four separate topics, each one being 1.5 hours long. Whoops!

The following are the four topics we covered, along with just a few of the activities & resources we shared:

This session focused on parenting and attachment styles. Parents identified their style(s), and learned about the impact of each style. We also shared techniques that foster authentic relationships between parents and their children.

This session focused on first defining 9 executive skills, then discussed how parents can develop and improve those skills in their children. As executive skills improve, it enables them to work more efficiently and effectively at home and at school. These skills include: planning & prioritizing, organizing, time management, flexibility, emotional control, impulse control, task initiation, sustained attention, and working memory.  (This was the #1 topic requested through a parent survey we'd sent out earlier this year.)

ACTIVITY: How long is a minute?
​As a part of the discussion about one executive function, time management, we asked, "How long is a minute?" We explained that children must learn, often through experience and practice, to become aware of two aspects of time: accurately predicting the experience of units of time and how long individual tasks will take.

Parents were given the following instructions:
1. Put their heads down or close their eyes.
2. Start their minute when we say "go."
3. Raise their hand when they felt a minute had passed.
4. Look up or open eyes when we say "stop."

As the minute passed, we tally-marked each hand raised in 15-second intervals for two minutes on a white board. Then we asked parents to look at their estimations and discuss how they did as adults (they are generally fairly accurate). We ask them to predict how children in upper elementary do at the same task (generally about the same because they often know strategies such as counting to 60 or listening to the tick of a clock). We discuss the difficulty of adding other tasks and distractions... can we accurately predict a minute if we can no longer count or listen to the ticking clock? We learn to notice a minute based on previous tasks or with the use of tools like timers and alarms, so we, as parents and educators, must build in opportunities for students to practice tasks estimating and confirming timed tasks.

A growth mindset thrives on challenge and sees failure not as evidence of unintelligience, but as a springboard for growth. This perspective, along with building a capacity for being able to ‘bounce back’ from hardships and/or disappointments, are vital for experiencing success and ultimately happiness. This session focused on developing these important skill sets.

"Thank You Mom" is a Proctor & Gamble Commercial from the Sochi 2014 Olympic Winter Games, created by the ad agency Wieden + Kennedy (http://www.wk.com/) in 2014. It clearly shows how children must fall, again and again and again, before they can be successful... and parents have to be willing to let them take those risks!

This session focused on the ways in which families adjust to various challenges and transitions. We touched upon how family roles and dynamics affect the family system. We covered the wonderful joys of siblings: both fostering relationships and dealing with rivalries. Finally, we discuss the importance of open communication, including "I" messages and family meetings, when dealing with conflict and changes as a family.

RESOURCE: The Positive Discipline website
​One of the websites to check out when discussing any and all family concerns is the Parenting and Parent Q & A sections of Positive Discipline. They have many great tools, including the "I feel _____when________  and I wish___________" formula, how to run successful family meetings, and many other topics on the blog. We touched on some of these topics within our presentation, but parents can search on their own as needed.

After our sessions were over, Karen and I sent out a survey to request feedback. Parents were kind, and gave helpful responses. I am grateful to have had a partner in creating and presenting, as I've learned a great deal from this experience. I also feel more confident and comfortable talking with parents in general! I hope that this post gives you a taste for what we presented, and perhaps inspires you to try your own. And I truly value collaboration with other counselors, so if you already run workshops, please share in the comments below! 

Are you teaching or counseling a group of students who seem shy or reluctant to respond to open ended questions, regardless of the topic? There are many books, blogs, and videos that address this, but I wanted to share one activity that was a big hit with one group of fifth graders: response cards.

You'll need:

• a set of question cards appropriate for your topic (mine were related to emotions, such as "When was the last time you felt unhappy?" or "What is one thing about yourself that makes you proud?" but could also be academic in nature)
• a set of response cards (without their meaning written):

1. repeat: reflecting back, rephrase, "I hear you saying..."
   
2. wonder: ask a question, "I wonder if you..."
3. dis/agree: taking a position, "I dis/agree because..."
4. add on: proving additional information or opinions, "In addition, I think..."

Small Group Setting
Students sit in a circle. The leader discusses four ways in which students can respond to teachers' or peers' questions, and explains that the students often have great ideas hidden away but haven't learned how to share them. Then students begin drawing cards. One student takes a question card; the next student takes a response card. The first student shares their answer to the question, then the next student must respond using the response card drawn (Some students find the response skills challenging, so the leader can allow other students to help in the first round or two). For example, one student could draw a question card that says "What is the last thing that you were super excited about?" and responds with "My trip to Germany, when I got to see my favorite football team play." The next student, who drew an 'add on' card, says, "I've been to Germany, and my favorite part was seeing that giant old castle."  Another student with a 'wonder' card asks, "why did you get excited about football rather than seeing some of the cool sites like castles and the Berlin wall?" The student who originally responded to the question card would then be given the chance to respond to any student statements or questions.

Large Group Classroom Setting
In a large group setting, the leader/ teacher will need enough response cards so that each student receives one. It is a good idea for the leader to have sufficient pre-planned questions for students to answer. As the lesson is taught, students must use their card to respond to questions which encourage higher order thinking, and multiple responses can be given to any single question. Over time, leaders can begin to point out which type of responses would best fit with the question asked. An example within this setting might be science class about the environment: The leader might ask, "In what ways do we an Americans contribute to the gradual destruction of our local environment?" and the student whose card is the 'repeat' card might respond with, "Your question makes me think that we must all take responsibility for our part in environmental problems." Another student might have the 'dis/agree' card and could say, "I disagree that the environment is being destroyed. I think we should use the resources and technology we have available." Hopefully, these response cards will encourage:

1. all students (even the shy or disengaged one) to respond to/engage the topic
2. higher order thinking skills
3. students to engage in metacognitive thinking about how they behave as learners
4. stimulate debate and discussion among students
5. self reflection and self awareness of opinions, beliefs, and feelings about topics
6. awareness that others may have very different perceptions and opinions

The video above was the inspiration for the response cards, with a few modifications for small group purposes. Check out other Teaching Channel videos, which are a wealth of free information for both teachers and school counselors!

By the way, if you use these cards, could you share your results in the comment section? Thank you!

I'm a big fan of Dr. Dan Siegel and his teachings on the neurobiological understandings of mindfulness. Here is a doctor with vast knowledge of the intricacies of the human brain, yet can break this down into easily understood writings and models for the average parent, teacher, or child. He certainly made my graduate classes about neurobiology easier to understand!

So I was excited when I found his brain hand model written into the current Second Step curriculum, within the third grade unit on emotions!  Here is a video of Dr. Dan explaining (in greater detail than you would with third graders) the brain hand model: 

I decided to use the hand model for the first lesson in the emotions unit for both third and fourth graders. I started out by asking students if the brain is connected to feelings, and if so, how. Students shared ideas with partners, then I asked them to keep their discussion in mind for later in the lesson. Then, the same partners played a version of the mirror game. They were asked to take turns leading and reflecting the facial expressions and body language of various emotions. We discussed how individuals can vary in the expression of the same emotion, and how one person's emotions can affect others' emotions and moods, and why we sometimes hide our true emotions (i.e., around unsafe people, because we fear losing control, etc). Students seemed to really enjoy both the reflections and the brief discussion.

Next (in a variation from the Second Step lesson), I shared a story from my own childhood when I  was a new student and tried out for the basketball team. I felt very nervous, because I wasn't sure if I would make the team and I didn't know the other girls or the coach. Then I asked all the students to close their eyes or look down, so everyone could have privacy. They were asked to think of a time when they felt very nervous, and how it made their emotions and body feel. I listed off some signals of anxiety like a racing heart, sweaty palms, and negative self talk, and asked them to raise their hands if they felt those symptoms during that memory (This turned out to be a great way for students to honestly share what they experience without judgement from peers, but also a quick check for me as a counselor/teacher about which signals came up most often and the corresponding coping skills I should teach in lessons to follow!). I thanked students for honoring their peers' privacy by not looking around. Then, I shared that everyone raised their hands at different signals, which means we all experience nervousness in a variety of combinations. This is important because it can be tricky to identify exactly how we/others feel if we think there is only one way to be angry, sad, overexcited, or anxious. Instead, we must recognize that everyone is unique and experience emotions in slightly different ways.

It's true... our bodies give us clues about how we feel. I drew a simple stick figure person on the board, with a head, spinal cord, and brain. We talked about how the brain is in charge of our entire body, and directs our thoughts, actions, and even feelings. The brain sends signals to the body through nerves in the spinal cord and down through our arms and legs. If we want to wiggle our toes, we think it and almost instantly our toes move. If we feel sad, our eyes might start to tear up almost instantly. 

We talked about how different parts of the brain are in charge of different things, like playing the piano, remembering math facts, or talking to our siblings when we are mad. Students will learn more about the specific parts of the brain as they study and read, but they should know two basic parts: the thinking and feeling parts of the brain. I labeled the picture, then moved on to the brain hand model.

I asked students to hold up their hand with their four fingers straight up and their thumb to the side. They then folded in the thumb and we talked about the feeling part of the brain: this section of the brain controls our breathing, but also stays alert to our surroundings and responds with emotions like fear, excitement, or sadness. If we aren't thinking things through, we will react to those feelings automatically… and often these impulsive actions can get us into trouble! Then they folded the four fingers down to represent the calming thinking part of the brain. If we are thinking before we act on emotions, we can predict reactions, and think about consequences. It was amazing how quickly students caught on to this! We wrapped the lesson up by talking about the idea they had at the beginning of the lesson about emotions and the brain. Finally, as their teachers took back the class, I had them show which part of their brain was in control during these types of scenarios:
1. You hit your brother because you are angry (feeling position).
2. You take some deep breaths when you present a speech in class (thinking position).
3. You are tired so fall asleep in the middle of class (feeling position).
4. You plan your birthday party with your mother (thinking position).

We covered a lot in the lesson, so I think it would be possible to split it up into two lessons. However, teachers and parents gave a lot of feedback that their students were talking about the model and applying it in class and at home! I plan to follow up in the next lessons with talk of how to engage the thinking part of the brain to calm strong emotions.

I was excited when the bulletin boards I'd ordered finally arrived and were mounted to the walls. I think it makes a huge difference in the windowless, florescent-lit space! This afternoon, I spent some time putting up butcher paper and borders, but I have yet to decide what exactly will go onto the boards! The purple board has a border with the continents (middle row of the last photo below) and the grey board has the multi-colored dots. I would like to post some of the postcards I have collected from around the world on the purple board, and I am considering a character traits theme for the dots board. Stay tuned for the final results!

UPDATE: September 18, 2014
Here is the most recent update to my office, which we will call the "after" photos (despite the fact that I probably won't be done with this office until, oh, mid-May…). First you can see the entrance to my office, with a welcome sign (but, alas, still no "where is Ms. G?" sign yet). Inside, you can see the front half of the room with table, chairs, and shelves for art supplies and games (and there is a small area with bean bags for a calming down space). In the other half, I have my desk area with reference books and curriculum hidden away. There is a small couch that is hidden from the door, making it a great spot for students, teachers, or parents to come in for a private chat. There is also more storage hidden away, for sensory materials as well as the odds and ends that all counselors need for the many roles we play.

For the new bulletin boards, I decided on themes of global citizenship and growth mindset. The purple board boasts some of the postcards from the many years I have been collecting postcards from everyone else's exotic adventures (and now- finally- I can buy some to represent my own travels!!!). It's already generated a lot of conversation with my well- traveled students and families!

For the growth mindset board, I used different colored circles to display fixed versus growth mindset examples. I hope to have students try their hand at creating some of their own examples during guidance lessons. Check out the original board at this blog.

Since then, I have added lamps to lessen the harsh nature of the fluorescent lights, and will one day add that locate-the-counselor sign. In the meantime, I am feeling more at home in my office. I was truly pleased to hear a student tell me the other day that he thought my office was comfortable and a good place to hang out in… worth all the effort, for sure!