Some students need a little help with setting boundaries (if you're unfamiliar with the term, I highly recommend the Cloud & Townsend classic, Boundaries). It can be helpful to create a visual representation of appropriate and safe boundaries, so that students can better process when and where to share about themselves.

STEP ONE
The first step as a group is to draw circles. Use string and paper clips to try to help draw circles, or use other methods (see a video here). Then chose a color for each circle and shade in each corresponding section. This makes it easy to identify each field clearly.

STEP TWO
<-- Using this example, students  can write the names of people they know that fit each circle. The categories (from the center outward):
1. family and/or people you trust with secrets
2. friends
3. classmates, neighbors, teammates, etc
4. acquaintances, relatives, people you don't know well or do not trust
5. strangers, workers in stores, etc
Depending on student issues and developmental levels, you may need to adjust the language and details accordingly. I suggest that you have students write in pencil at this point.

STEP THREE
Once students have filled in their circles with names, pose a series of scenarios. They must determine with whom it would be most appropriate to share. 

A few examples (that can be adjusted for your group's needs):
Scenario 1
You have just received your test back from your teacher and you did not do as well as you had hoped. With whom would your share your disappointment?
Scenario 2
You just bought a new shirt (toy, video game, etc) and you really like it! Who can know this information?
Scenario 3
You have been having a medical issue (like lice, an allergic rash, etc) and someone asks you how you are. Who should you talk to about the details?
Scenario 4
You are excited about going to a game, show, event, etc. Who would like to hear all about the details of your part in it?

Allow students to talk about people they know and how the scenario could fit in their own lives. Also, suggest they move names to other circles if they find it necessary (i.e., a student may find that a person they had in a middle circle may need to move to a circle with more or less private information shared, based on how safe they feel with that particularly person). When they feel good about their circles, they can go over the names in marker.

COMING FULL CIRCLE...
I believe this activity to be useful. The act of visually placing names and discussing what is safe and appropriate to share can help students to reflect on their current behaviors without any uncomfortable confrontation. After the group, discussions with individuals about behaviors or boundary issues can refer to the circles as a visual reference, too. 

Students in grades 2-3 are passionate about fairness and following the rules! When asked, they know exactly the right answers about good sportsmanship. Yet, these passionate feelings rarely translate into recess games and activities that run like well-oiled machinery. In fact, the vast majority of hurt feelings and problem solving concerns seem to center around the arguments arising from these games. Thus, a lesson about sportsmanship was needed.

The lesson began with a discussion about what a good sport looks and acts like. We made a list and the students had all the right "pat" answers (i.e., agree on the rules before you play, pick equal teams, congratulate the winner, don't brag if you win, etc). We also discussed what to do when someone seems to be cheating or not following the rules; students were genuinely surprised at the concept that others may not KNOW the rules and  need to be taught, as opposed to automatically accusing them of cheating.

Then I announced that the class would be playing a game with absolutely no interference from the adults in the room (caveat: I would step in if things became too hurtful, which is not always true when they play games at recess or in their neighborhoods). I chose Heads Up Seven Up because most students were familiar with it, but other group games could work as well. Then I stepped back and let them work it out on their own for about 15 minutes. It was interesting to watch the differences between classes. Some classes had a natural leader or two, others worked together to talk it out, and still others consistently argued and struggled for control. I really appreciated how students tried to consider the concepts we had discussed at the beginning of the lesson as they played. 

For the last 5-7 minutes, we discussed how the game had gone. I asked if they thought the game was fair, then fun, and why. Many said that they wished a teacher would step in and fix things, so we talked about how they can be empowered to solve the issues on their own. Students came up with some areas they could still improve in, such as how to pick teams fairly and how to deal with students who seemed to be cheating, which we can address in future lessons. I really enjoyed this lesson because I felt that students were fully engaged and appreciated such practical, "real life" learning, and I learned a great deal about the interpersonal dynamics of students when they are not in the classroom setting. Fascinating stuff!

One of the topics covered in the Second Step program is cause and effect. While I was planning for the lesson, I decided to have the fourth and fifth grade students make a T chart with examples of actions and possible reactions. This is pretty standard teaching technique, but what happened in the first run-through was, as one student put it, "counseling magic!"

I started the set discussing the example from the Second Step card. Then the class created T charts by folding blank lined paper "like a hot dog" (vertically versus the horizontal "hamburger" style). I gave several examples of actions and allowed students come up with reactions that seemed logical to them. Here are some examples:

• Your friend brags to you all the time (possible effects: you tell them to stop, you stop being their friend, you start bragging about your accomplishments)
• Students are being disruptive in class (possible effects: the students feel like they have power, the teacher feels upset or frustrated, the students don't have to do the work)
• The school puts up new play ground structures and allows the boys to choose what to play first (possible effects: the girls will be upset, the boys won't allow girls to play, the students will argue)

Then the "counseling magic." I asked the students to cross out the word "cause" at the top and write "effect" above it. Then I asked them to fold their paper over and write cause on the right half of the back side. Thus they essentially had a three column "cause-effect-effect" 
table. Students were then asked to consider what may have caused the actions from the former cause column. Here are some of the causes they came up with from the examples above:

• The friend may be: feeling insecure, trying to impress you so you'll be their friend, doing it because YOU brag all the time, or actually really good at something and you're jealous.
• Students may: not like or respect the teacher, be bored with the way the teacher is teaching, try to get the teacher upset, or want to impress friends.
• The school may have: allowed girls to choose first in the past, given boys first choice because they won a school contest, given boys choice of play structures so girls can play with sports equipment, or just like boys better.

My favorite part of the lesson was that students immediately asked to change the final effect column based on the "new" causes. One student said they would definitely react differently to a friend who was bragging because they felt insecure than one who was just proud and feeling powerful. It was great to see students make the connection that when we consider WHY people act in ways that may bother us, we can react in more effective ways.

Below is the worksheet I made (though the blank lined paper was equally effective):