In the international community, it can be easy to dismiss goodbyes as old hat or just a routine to complete. Yet, every year, strong emotions erupt and can feel a bit out of blue... if you don't recognize and teach the five stages that David Pollock, the author of Third Culture Kids, calls the transition cycle:

1. Involvement. The first stage involves feeling settled and comfortable in a place that we know; we feel like we belong and know where we fit in. There may be some signs that moving may be on the horizon in a vague sense.
2. Leaving. The second stage is marked by the realization that we will be leaving our place of comfort. As we realize this, we may begin leaning away from our responsibilities, commitments and relationships. There are often mixed emotions during this stage. For example, we may feel both anxious about leaving and excited about moving to a new place.
3. Transition. This stage begins when we actually leave our place of comfort and ends when we make the conscious decision to settle into the new place. During this stage we may be confronted with chaos and stress.
4. Entering. This stage begins when we feel ready to become part of life in the new place. We begin to figure out how we should go about becoming accepted, start to reach out to others and take some risks.
5. Re-involvement. Finally, we reach the stage where we feel accepted in the new place. We begin to have the feeling that our presence matters and that we belong.

Not only the leaving students and their families (otherwise known in fancy terms as leavers), but those who remain behind (called stayers) are impacted by this cycle. Leavers are often most stressed in the second and third stages; stayers can be impacted most in the fourth stage when they realize the leavers really will not be returning.

Scroll down for ten ways that our school community has begun to acknowledge and support this process of transition.

Classroom Closure Lesson
As I've been wrapping up lessons in classrooms (grades 3-5), I have been using the crumpled heart metaphor. It's been a powerful lesson to end with, though you could easily use it mid-year during a unit on kindness or anti-bullying.

I started by having students each cut out a heart from a small red rectangle. Then, each student was asked to write four things:
1. your name
2. the name of someone important to you
3. an activity you enjoy
4. one word that best describes you

I talked with them about the importance of protecting our heart and sharing our information with people we trust. I showed them my own heart and gave examples of statements that could be made that would hurt my feelings, crumpling my example as I spoke (ex: If someone walked up to me and said "You like to read? Only nerds like to read!" My feelings might be hurt *crumple that section of the heart* and I might not want to read anymore. Or I would read, but keep it a secret...)

Perhaps the most powerful part was when I asked students to then crumple their own hearts- some students cried out in protest, others simply could not bring themselves to do it! We talked about why it was so hard, and how much words can hurt what we hold dear in our hearts. I walked up to several students and asked them about my heart, and they rushed to compliment or reassure me (without even prompting them!), which helped to "uncrumple" my heart. Students were then invited to walk around and say kind words that would uncrumple each other hearts. They loved this part!

At the very end of the lesson, we felt the softness of the wrinkled construction paper and discussed the term "soft hearted." We discussed how empathy ties into a soft heart, and how we can choose to speak kindness into others' hearts after our own hearts have been crumpled. It was a powerful way to end the year.

Small Group Closure Activity
For small groups in upper elementary, try completing a compliments mandala! Each group member draws a large circle and divides it into the number of people in the group (including me). Then each person writes their own name and a word that describes them (in case another group member is stuck- they can basically copy or do a slight variation). Pass the circles around, so each member can write their name and a compliment in a section of the mandala. Time given per person depends on the maturity level of students and how detailed you'd like them to be.  Students can keep the mandala as a reminder of the group experience.

Individual Session Closure Activity
With individual students, use a modified version of the feelings map. There is a wonderful worksheet on the Social Work Helper blog that you can download for free (check out the site, too)! It's a way to create some closure with students.

For this activity, I ask the student to complete a map that describes me, and I complete one for them. We brainstorm a list of words that could describe others. We write down 6 words that fit the other, then we color the map and discuss the time(s) we have met together. Then we trade the maps and share what we created. Students have the opportunity to remember the time spent together, and especially that they get to hear some of the qualities others see and appreciate in them. It's been a nice little warm fuzzy to wrap up individual sessions.

When I was in grad school, my place was always super clean. This is NOT because I am a neat freak, but because I found that cleaning and organizing a closet was so much more interesting than writing, say, a 10 page paper on the benefits of a given medication or treatment. 

Now I am finding a similar pattern in that I will do pretty much anything to avoid packing for my upcoming two year stint in a country halfway around the world. One weekend, I spent hours downloading old photos to convert into electronic copies. Now I am updating my blog…

In the last few weeks, I have been working on getting prepared to leave my current school and getting excited about going to a new one. For some reason, my mind is just not grasping how quickly this transition is taking place. Three things have helped, though:

1. I started a countdown to the end of the current school year. I do not normally do this, as I don't want the days to rush by and forget to savor those little moments with students. Most students I work closely with are not looking forward to summertime away from school. However, I needed to be shocked into the realization that I don't have much time to say my goodbyes, help students transition, tear down my office, sort through all of counseling stuff (what stays, what goes in storage, and what must come with me overseas), and still do all the necessary daily aspects of my counseling jobs (...not to mention all the paperwork and packing in my personal life)!

2. I made a Prezi to announce my departure to my current students (all 580+ in grades K-5). It is a simplified version of one I made to announce to my adult friends and family. As I have presented it to classes, I have repeatedly watched the videos and caught the excitement of the students ("There's a mall!" "There's a POOL!" "I want to move there!" "We can Skype with or email you?"). This has helped me to accept that this transition is, in fact, happening.

3. I received a care package from my future school (see the photo above). It contained:

• a fancy pen with the school's name,
• a t-shirt with the school's logo and mascot, the Dragons (why an XL, though? Geez!),
• a lanyard again with the school's name, and
• chocolate covered dates.

Even the package with Qatari stamps and Arabic writing were exciting! 

As my friend Sarah is fond of saying lately, "This is getting REAL!"

So I should probably start packing now, huh?