In the international community, it can be easy to dismiss goodbyes as old hat or just a routine to complete. Yet, every year, strong emotions erupt and can feel a bit out of blue... if you don't recognize and teach the five stages that David Pollock, the author of Third Culture Kids, calls the transition cycle:

1. Involvement. The first stage involves feeling settled and comfortable in a place that we know; we feel like we belong and know where we fit in. There may be some signs that moving may be on the horizon in a vague sense.
2. Leaving. The second stage is marked by the realization that we will be leaving our place of comfort. As we realize this, we may begin leaning away from our responsibilities, commitments and relationships. There are often mixed emotions during this stage. For example, we may feel both anxious about leaving and excited about moving to a new place.
3. Transition. This stage begins when we actually leave our place of comfort and ends when we make the conscious decision to settle into the new place. During this stage we may be confronted with chaos and stress.
4. Entering. This stage begins when we feel ready to become part of life in the new place. We begin to figure out how we should go about becoming accepted, start to reach out to others and take some risks.
5. Re-involvement. Finally, we reach the stage where we feel accepted in the new place. We begin to have the feeling that our presence matters and that we belong.

Not only the leaving students and their families (otherwise known in fancy terms as leavers), but those who remain behind (called stayers) are impacted by this cycle. Leavers are often most stressed in the second and third stages; stayers can be impacted most in the fourth stage when they realize the leavers really will not be returning.

Scroll down for ten ways that our school community has begun to acknowledge and support this process of transition.

The gist:
While discussing individual counseling sessions on a Twitter #escchat (where counselors form all over the country gather to share ideas via tweets for one hour), the question came up regarding how students request to see the counselor. Last year I knew that I wanted to use a self-referral form similar to that of my internship supervisor's form. Yet I had no structured way to collect these forms other than teachers handing them to me when they could. Thus, I decided to try a more efficient system this year. 

The box:
This year, I purchased a drop box that was attached to the wall near the library, a central location that nearly every student passes by daily. This box is the perfect size, affordable (very important to counselors on a budget!) and has a convenient slot in the back to hold blank forms and pens. Students tell me they like using it because it feels like they are passing me a secret note… which makes the process fun, too! I like it because it teaches students to be aware that it may take a day or two before I can meet with them, and it is locked to ensure confidentiality.

The form:
The form incorporate Kelso's choices and big versus small problems, which (hopefully) encourages students to try to solve a problem on their own first. When I meet with students from these self-referrals, I always go over the attempts they made to solve the problem and use it as a teachable moment (either how they could try next time and/or affirming their choice to seek a trusted adult). The student's description and the indicated level of urgency help me to prioritize sessions, as well. Here is the form I use currently:

What is your process for gathering student referrals?