In the international community, it can be easy to dismiss goodbyes as old hat or just a routine to complete. Yet, every year, strong emotions erupt and can feel a bit out of blue... if you don't recognize and teach the five stages that David Pollock, the author of Third Culture Kids, calls the transition cycle:

1. Involvement. The first stage involves feeling settled and comfortable in a place that we know; we feel like we belong and know where we fit in. There may be some signs that moving may be on the horizon in a vague sense.
2. Leaving. The second stage is marked by the realization that we will be leaving our place of comfort. As we realize this, we may begin leaning away from our responsibilities, commitments and relationships. There are often mixed emotions during this stage. For example, we may feel both anxious about leaving and excited about moving to a new place.
3. Transition. This stage begins when we actually leave our place of comfort and ends when we make the conscious decision to settle into the new place. During this stage we may be confronted with chaos and stress.
4. Entering. This stage begins when we feel ready to become part of life in the new place. We begin to figure out how we should go about becoming accepted, start to reach out to others and take some risks.
5. Re-involvement. Finally, we reach the stage where we feel accepted in the new place. We begin to have the feeling that our presence matters and that we belong.

Not only the leaving students and their families (otherwise known in fancy terms as leavers), but those who remain behind (called stayers) are impacted by this cycle. Leavers are often most stressed in the second and third stages; stayers can be impacted most in the fourth stage when they realize the leavers really will not be returning.

The following are a few ways that our school community has begun to acknowledge and support this process of transition:

About two months before school is out, I teach two lessons to introduce or review the concept of leavers, stayers, and the need to thoughtfully say goodbye. We also discuss the concept of saying goodbye to the current grade level and teachers, and transitioning to the next grade level.

For younger students (PreK to Grade 2):
We read the book Gilbert The Great by Jane Clarke &Charles Fuge. I introduce the concepts of leavers and stayers. For PreK and KG students, I make a distinction between leavers who go for good, and students who may go away for the summer on vacation but come back to school in the fall. This is extremely important to make clear for some stayers who get jealous of special events that leavers will attend or presents they may receive. Then we make shark and fish stick puppets and play with them!
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For older students (Grade 3-5):
I introduce the five stages of transition from David Pollock (above), and ask students to think about friends who have moved away in the past or about their last moving experience. We discuss specific examples within each stage (i.e., when parents start handling the shipment and school selection and are not as available, when leavers start to think about their new home but feel guilty showing excitement to stayer friends) and in which stages people may be most impacted within the process. Then I give the students a sheet of paper to brainstorm 5-6 ways they can support both leavers and stayers in the coming months.

Talking with parents and staff in international settings about the transition stages might be equally as important as talking with students. Counselors present an interactive talk about transitions at the start of the year and again after the winter break. I would like to add a talk at the end of the year, as well. I find that parents and staff are skeptical of the talk, but always express gratitude for taking the time to slow down and process what may feel like "old hat" but always takes emotional energy! Also, humor helps. :-)

Here are the pages included in the booklet:

1. cover which says "we'll miss you" and our school logo
2. the whole school
3. your favorite place at the school
4. your teacher(s)- I include teachers from previous years, as well
5. your friends
6. a class picture
7. saying thank you- first naming 2-3 people who have helped the student, then circling one or two actions to show gratitude (i.e., making a card, having a play date, etc)
8. Where are you moving?- with a world map
9. How do you feel about moving?- with a bunch of emojis to circle
10. What are you excited about in your new home?

As the school year draws to a close, we take time in each class to write a farewell/ thank you letter to someone who has helped us in the school year. For younger students, I provide a paper with a cute frame, but for older students they use a blank sheet. we brainstorm a list of leaving students and teachers they know, and then add their current teachers whom they may not have the following school year. We talk about adding in funny or sweet memories, then I write a few phrases on the board as examples, such as:

• ​​* thank you for...
• * I will miss you because...
• * You are ____ because....
• * Goodbye and good luck

Students are given plenty of time to write, draw and decorate their letter, and I encourage to make more letters later if they would like. I have them turn in the letters to teacher to me, then compile all the letters and distribute them before the last day of school.

Two weeks before the end of school, grade level leavers parties are organized (pro tip: plan this before all of the end of year parties are scheduled!).   We gather in a circle and students share where they are moving and something they will miss about AES. Then we have a snack of popcorn and juice. We then have a game. For the youngest students, we play Duck, Duck, Goose, but for Grade 1-5, we play a fun game called "Will you miss your neighbor?"

You'll need a chair for every student but one (who stands in the center of the circle). Teach students that the person in the center will approach one seated student and ask, "will you miss your neighbor?" The seated student can say yes or no. If yes, the students seated on either side of them must get up and try to switch seats while the standing student also tries to sit down. If no, the seated student says, "No, but I WILL miss..." They then describe a quality such as people with flip flops, everyone in Ms. Clute's class, people with a letter S in their name, etc, and everyone who fits that quality must get up and find a new seat. I find that students love this game!

Finally, our principal joins our party to wish leavers well and provide them a stuffy and postcard (see next section!), and I distribute the memory books that we had made earlier. Then we send them on their way!

The administrators wanted to do something special for students who are leaving, too! They chose to order little stuffed tigers, our mascot, with little shirts that have the school logo on it. My principal attended the farewell parties to talk about how she had whispered memories of AES into the tigers' ear, so that students can squeeze their stuffy and remember AES. The little ones really loved this! They also printed blank postcards with the school's address, so students can send us a message when they reach their new home. Students really responded positively to both of these gifts, and the stayers are now looking forward to getting theirs one day!

Our community at AES is very supportive of students and their families, and the teachers often do their own activities to support transitions. A few such activities I have seen:

• purchasing a school t shirt for classmates and teachers to sign
• making a scrapbook in which classmates create a page
• making a sign for the grade level to make everyone aware of who may move
• class parties

Leavers become stayers, and we want to welcome our new students to our school in a warm and supportive way. One new way we will do this is through a welcome brochure. For older students, a class buddy will complete the brochure with them. For the younger students, we will complete it at the student lunches (see below). I used a customizable brochure that I found from The Counseling Teacher Brandy on TpT, which I highly recommend! The brochure includes the opportunity to tour the school and complete some reflection and ice breaker activities. It's my hope that it will further help students to transition well into their new community!

Thank you for taking the time to read through these activities. I hope they might be of benefit for you as a school counselor, administrator, or teacher. If you have other great transition activities, please share in the comments below!

As I settle into my new job at ASD, I have been so encouraged to find a comprehensive international school counseling program already in place. It is great to enter into a job with excellent programs and systems established. Now I have some work to do to develop further as a school counselor within these programs! We are being asked to create a professional growth & collaboration goal, so I have had the chance to sit down with a collaborative partner and discuss some areas where I could develop further. I feel fortunate to have time, collaborative staff, and PD opportunities dedicated to doing just that!

In the process, I have narrowed it down to two topics: child protection and Collaborative & Proactive Solutions (formerly known as collaborative problem solving). Regarding the former, the school counselors from preK- 12 have met for the past two years to examine current practices and ensure alignment of the curriculum across grade levels. I have joined the discussions and have been working to catch up with all of their hard work. I have also been selected to attend the AISA International Child Protection Symposium in Cape Town, South Africa in March 2015! I look forward to learning more about different aspects of child protection, but especially about research-based curriculum and its use with appropriate developmental levels. Oh, and for school counselors who are passionate about social justice and child protection… check out AISA's Child Protection Handbook!

I discovered that one of my fellow school counselors is a trainer for Collaborative & Proactive Solutions, and she is willing to mentor me as I learn more about the philosophy and techniques! I have been intrigued by Ross Greene's methods, as many counselors speak highly of its effectiveness. Collaborative and Proactive Solutions seeks to understand the child's need for skills rather than believing the child is willfully challenging adults and peers. I find the approach compassionate and affirming of the unique qualities each child holds. I hope to research CPS, integrate it into my current practices, and then assess the effectiveness in my own school setting. 

I feel blessed to be in a school that encourages us to grow professionally! I would love to hear about the topics and methods you, as a school counselors, are pursuing in your professional growth, too… comment below to share!

I was excited when the bulletin boards I'd ordered finally arrived and were mounted to the walls. I think it makes a huge difference in the windowless, florescent-lit space! This afternoon, I spent some time putting up butcher paper and borders, but I have yet to decide what exactly will go onto the boards! The purple board has a border with the continents (middle row of the last photo below) and the grey board has the multi-colored dots. I would like to post some of the postcards I have collected from around the world on the purple board, and I am considering a character traits theme for the dots board. Stay tuned for the final results!

UPDATE: September 18, 2014
Here is the most recent update to my office, which we will call the "after" photos (despite the fact that I probably won't be done with this office until, oh, mid-May…). First you can see the entrance to my office, with a welcome sign (but, alas, still no "where is Ms. G?" sign yet). Inside, you can see the front half of the room with table, chairs, and shelves for art supplies and games (and there is a small area with bean bags for a calming down space). In the other half, I have my desk area with reference books and curriculum hidden away. There is a small couch that is hidden from the door, making it a great spot for students, teachers, or parents to come in for a private chat. There is also more storage hidden away, for sensory materials as well as the odds and ends that all counselors need for the many roles we play.

For the new bulletin boards, I decided on themes of global citizenship and growth mindset. The purple board boasts some of the postcards from the many years I have been collecting postcards from everyone else's exotic adventures (and now- finally- I can buy some to represent my own travels!!!). It's already generated a lot of conversation with my well- traveled students and families!

For the growth mindset board, I used different colored circles to display fixed versus growth mindset examples. I hope to have students try their hand at creating some of their own examples during guidance lessons. Check out the original board at this blog.

Since then, I have added lamps to lessen the harsh nature of the fluorescent lights, and will one day add that locate-the-counselor sign. In the meantime, I am feeling more at home in my office. I was truly pleased to hear a student tell me the other day that he thought my office was comfortable and a good place to hang out in… worth all the effort, for sure!