For Leavers & Stayers: 10 Activities to Support International Transitions

In the international community, it can be easy to dismiss goodbyes as old hat or just a routine to complete. Yet, every year, strong emotions erupt and can feel a bit out of blue... if you don't recognize and teach the five stages that David Pollock, the author of Third Culture Kids, calls the transition cycle:

1. Involvement. The first stage involves feeling settled and comfortable in a place that we know; we feel like we belong and know where we fit in. There may be some signs that moving may be on the horizon in a vague sense.
2. Leaving. The second stage is marked by the realization that we will be leaving our place of comfort. As we realize this, we may begin leaning away from our responsibilities, commitments and relationships. There are often mixed emotions during this stage. For example, we may feel both anxious about leaving and excited about moving to a new place.
3. Transition. This stage begins when we actually leave our place of comfort and ends when we make the conscious decision to settle into the new place. During this stage we may be confronted with chaos and stress.
4. Entering. This stage begins when we feel ready to become part of life in the new place. We begin to figure out how we should go about becoming accepted, start to reach out to others and take some risks.
5. Re-involvement. Finally, we reach the stage where we feel accepted in the new place. We begin to have the feeling that our presence matters and that we belong.

Not only the leaving students and their families (otherwise known in fancy terms as leavers), but those who remain behind (called stayers) are impacted by this cycle. Leavers are often most stressed in the second and third stages; stayers can be impacted most in the fourth stage when they realize the leavers really will not be returning.

The following are a few ways that our school community has begun to acknowledge and support this process of transition:

Transition Activity #1: Class Lessons

About two months before school is out, I teach two lessons to introduce or review the concept of leavers, stayers, and the need to thoughtfully say goodbye. We also discuss the concept of saying goodbye to the current grade level and teachers, and transitioning to the next grade level.

For younger students (PreK to Grade 2):
We read the book Gilbert The Great by Jane Clarke &Charles Fuge. I introduce the concepts of leavers and stayers. For PreK and KG students, I make a distinction between leavers who go for good, and students who may go away for the summer on vacation but come back to school in the fall. This is extremely important to make clear for some stayers who get jealous of special events that leavers will attend or presents they may receive. Then we make shark and fish stick puppets and play with them!
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For older students (Grade 3-5):
I introduce the five stages of transition from David Pollock (above), and ask students to think about friends who have moved away in the past or about their last moving experience. We discuss specific examples within each stage (i.e., when parents start handling the shipment and school selection and are not as available, when leavers start to think about their new home but feel guilty showing excitement to stayer friends) and in which stages people may be most impacted within the process. Then I give the students a sheet of paper to brainstorm 5-6 ways they can support both leavers and stayers in the coming months.

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Transition Activity #2: Parent Presentations

Talking with parents and staff in international settings about the transition stages might be equally as important as talking with students. Counselors present an interactive talk about transitions at the start of the year and again after the winter break. I would like to add a talk at the end of the year, as well. I find that parents and staff are skeptical of the talk, but always express gratitude for taking the time to slow down and process what may feel like "old hat" but always takes emotional energy! Also, humor helps. :-)

Transition Activity #3: Memory Books

When I arrived at the American Embassy School, a previous counselor (name unknown) had created a goodbye booklet with eight pages- and I'm so thankful for it! It was more appropriate for older students, so I modified slightly to make it friendly to students as young as PreK. In the first few years, I did it in groups and had students draw pictures, but now I start earlier in the year and meet with each leaving student individually. We fill in the written sections (or I write for the youngest students), take pictures with their ipad, and then I present the books to them at their grade level farewell parties. I find this is the best way for students to be able to open up and talk about how they are doing with the move.

Here are the pages included in the booklet:

1. cover which says "we'll miss you" and our school logo
2. the whole school
3. your favorite place at the school
4. your teacher(s)- I include teachers from previous years, as well
5. your friends
6. a class picture
7. saying thank you- first naming 2-3 people who have helped the student, then circling one or two actions to show gratitude (i.e., making a card, having a play date, etc)
8. Where are you moving?- with a world map
9. How do you feel about moving?- with a bunch of emojis to circle
10. What are you excited about in your new home?

Transition Activity #4: Farewell Letters

As the school year draws to a close, we take time in each class to write a farewell/ thank you letter to someone who has helped us in the school year. For younger students, I provide a paper with a cute frame, but for older students they use a blank sheet. we brainstorm a list of leaving students and teachers they know, and then add their current teachers whom they may not have the following school year. We talk about adding in funny or sweet memories, then I write a few phrases on the board as examples, such as:

• ​​* thank you for...
• * I will miss you because...
• * You are ____ because....
• * Goodbye and good luck

Students are given plenty of time to write, draw and decorate their letter, and I encourage to make more letters later if they would like. I have them turn in the letters to teacher to me, then compile all the letters and distribute them before the last day of school.

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Transition Activity #5: Leaver Parties

Two weeks before the end of school, grade level leavers parties are organized (pro tip: plan this before all of the end of year parties are scheduled!).   We gather in a circle and students share where they are moving and something they will miss about AES. Then we have a snack of popcorn and juice. We then have a game. For the youngest students, we play Duck, Duck, Goose, but for Grade 1-5, we play a fun game called "Will you miss your neighbor?"

You'll need a chair for every student but one (who stands in the center of the circle). Teach students that the person in the center will approach one seated student and ask, "will you miss your neighbor?" The seated student can say yes or no. If yes, the students seated on either side of them must get up and try to switch seats while the standing student also tries to sit down. If no, the seated student says, "No, but I WILL miss..." They then describe a quality such as people with flip flops, everyone in Ms. Clute's class, people with a letter S in their name, etc, and everyone who fits that quality must get up and find a new seat. I find that students love this game!

Finally, our principal joins our party to wish leavers well and provide them a stuffy and postcard (see next section!), and I distribute the memory books that we had made earlier. Then we send them on their way!

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Transition Activity #6: Give a Stuffy & Postcard

The administrators wanted to do something special for students who are leaving, too! They chose to order little stuffed tigers, our mascot, with little shirts that have the school logo on it. My principal attended the farewell parties to talk about how she had whispered memories of AES into the tigers' ear, so that students can squeeze their stuffy and remember AES. The little ones really loved this! They also printed blank postcards with the school's address, so students can send us a message when they reach their new home. Students really responded positively to both of these gifts, and the stayers are now looking forward to getting theirs one day!

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Transition Activity #7: Classroom Rituals

Our community at AES is very supportive of students and their families, and the teachers often do their own activities to support transitions. A few such activities I have seen:

• purchasing a school t shirt for classmates and teachers to sign
• making a scrapbook in which classmates create a page
• making a sign for the grade level to make everyone aware of who may move
• class parties

Transition Activity #8: Farewell Assembly

At the end of each semester, we have a farewell assembly. It is meant as a send off to the upcoming long breaks, but also serves as a way to publicly acknowledge the leavers in the community. Parents are welcome and they pack the gym. There are numerous musical performances and a slideshow of all students and faculty leaving. Then selected students speak about each leaving teacher or staff. Finally we sing a song that has become a tradition for our community: Goodbye, Farewell, To You My Friend.

Transition Activity #9: New Student Lunches

In the first few weeks of school, my co-counselor and I host grade level new student lunches. This allows our new students to meet others who are also transitioning, as well as the stayers from their class. As they eat pizza and fruit, we spend some time talking about questions they have about school and our city, and then some ways to connect with new friends. Then we play a fun icebreaker game (varies by age). At the end, we ask challenge students to lead us back to their classrooms!

Transition Activity #10: Welcome Buddies & Brochure

Leavers become stayers, and we want to welcome our new students to our school in a warm and supportive way. One new way we will do this is through a welcome brochure. For older students, a class buddy will complete the brochure with them. For the younger students, we will complete it at the student lunches (see below). I used a customizable brochure that I found from The Counseling Teacher Brandy on TpT, which I highly recommend! The brochure includes the opportunity to tour the school and complete some reflection and ice breaker activities. It's my hope that it will further help students to transition well into their new community!

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Thank you for taking the time to read through these activities. I hope they might be of benefit for you as a school counselor, administrator, or teacher. If you have other great transition activities, please share in the comments below!