In the international community, it can be easy to dismiss goodbyes as old hat or just a routine to complete. Yet, every year, strong emotions erupt and can feel a bit out of blue... if you don't recognize and teach the five stages that David Pollock, the author of Third Culture Kids, calls the transition cycle:

1. Involvement. The first stage involves feeling settled and comfortable in a place that we know; we feel like we belong and know where we fit in. There may be some signs that moving may be on the horizon in a vague sense.
2. Leaving. The second stage is marked by the realization that we will be leaving our place of comfort. As we realize this, we may begin leaning away from our responsibilities, commitments and relationships. There are often mixed emotions during this stage. For example, we may feel both anxious about leaving and excited about moving to a new place.
3. Transition. This stage begins when we actually leave our place of comfort and ends when we make the conscious decision to settle into the new place. During this stage we may be confronted with chaos and stress.
4. Entering. This stage begins when we feel ready to become part of life in the new place. We begin to figure out how we should go about becoming accepted, start to reach out to others and take some risks.
5. Re-involvement. Finally, we reach the stage where we feel accepted in the new place. We begin to have the feeling that our presence matters and that we belong.

Not only the leaving students and their families (otherwise known in fancy terms as leavers), but those who remain behind (called stayers) are impacted by this cycle. Leavers are often most stressed in the second and third stages; stayers can be impacted most in the fourth stage when they realize the leavers really will not be returning.

Scroll down for ten ways that our school community has begun to acknowledge and support this process of transition.

My fabulous co-counselor, Karen, loves to try new things. We sit around and come up with crazy ideas in the hopes of meeting the needs that we see around our neck of the woods (not there are any woods in this desert...)! At the start of the year, we thought it would be a great idea to have a 4 week series for parents. So we put it in the master calendar... and promptly forgot about it! When January rolled around, we suddenly realized we were actually going to have to plan and present on four separate topics, each one being 1.5 hours long. Whoops!

Scroll down for the four topics we covered, along with just a few of the activities & resources we shared:

1. Parenting Styles & Skills
2. Fostering Skills in Executive Functions
3. Growth Mindset & Resiliency
4. Dynamic, Changing Families
(scroll down to read more!)

Are you teaching or counseling a group of students who seem shy or reluctant to respond to open ended questions, regardless of the topic? There are many books, blogs, and videos that address this, but I wanted to share one activity that was a big hit with one group of fifth graders: response cards.
Scroll down to read more!

I'm a big fan of Dr. Dan Siegel and his teachings on the neurobiological understandings of mindfulness. Here is a doctor with vast knowledge of the intricacies of the human brain, yet can break this down into easily understood writings and models for the average parent, teacher, or child. He certainly made my graduate classes about neurobiology easier to understand!

So I was excited when I found his brain hand model written into the current Second Step curriculum, within the third grade unit on emotions! 
​Scroll down to read more!

As I settle into my new job at ASD, I have been so encouraged to find a comprehensive international school counseling program already in place. It is great to enter into a job with excellent programs and systems established. Now I have some work to do to develop further as a school counselor within these programs! We are being asked to create a professional growth & collaboration goal, so I have had the chance to sit down with a collaborative partner and discuss some areas where I could develop further. I feel fortunate to have time, collaborative staff, and PD opportunities dedicated to doing just that!

In the process, I have narrowed it down to two topics: child protection and Collaborative & Proactive Solutions (formerly known as collaborative problem solving). Regarding the former, the school counselors from preK- 12 have met for the past two years to examine current practices and ensure alignment of the curriculum across grade levels. I have joined the discussions and have been working to catch up with all of their hard work. I have also been selected to attend the AISA International Child Protection Symposium in Cape Town, South Africa in March 2015! I look forward to learning more about different aspects of child protection, but especially about research-based curriculum and its use with appropriate developmental levels. Oh, and for school counselors who are passionate about social justice and child protection… check out AISA's Child Protection Handbook!

I discovered that one of my fellow school counselors is a trainer for Collaborative & Proactive Solutions, and she is willing to mentor me as I learn more about the philosophy and techniques! I have been intrigued by Ross Greene's methods, as many counselors speak highly of its effectiveness. Collaborative and Proactive Solutions seeks to understand the child's need for skills rather than believing the child is willfully challenging adults and peers. I find the approach compassionate and affirming of the unique qualities each child holds. I hope to research CPS, integrate it into my current practices, and then assess the effectiveness in my own school setting. 

I feel blessed to be in a school that encourages us to grow professionally! I would love to hear about the topics and methods you, as a school counselors, are pursuing in your professional growth, too… comment below to share!

I was excited when the bulletin boards I'd ordered finally arrived and were mounted to the walls. I think it makes a huge difference in the windowless, florescent-lit space! This afternoon, I spent some time putting up butcher paper and borders, but I have yet to decide what exactly will go onto the boards! The purple board has a border with the continents (middle row of the last photo below) and the grey board has the multi-colored dots. I would like to post some of the postcards I have collected from around the world on the purple board, and I am considering a character traits theme for the dots board. Stay tuned for the final results!

UPDATE: September 18, 2014
Here is the most recent update to my office, which we will call the "after" photos (despite the fact that I probably won't be done with this office until, oh, mid-May…). First you can see the entrance to my office, with a welcome sign (but, alas, still no "where is Ms. G?" sign yet). Inside, you can see the front half of the room with table, chairs, and shelves for art supplies and games (and there is a small area with bean bags for a calming down space). In the other half, I have my desk area with reference books and curriculum hidden away. There is a small couch that is hidden from the door, making it a great spot for students, teachers, or parents to come in for a private chat. There is also more storage hidden away, for sensory materials as well as the odds and ends that all counselors need for the many roles we play.

For the new bulletin boards, I decided on themes of global citizenship and growth mindset. The purple board boasts some of the postcards from the many years I have been collecting postcards from everyone else's exotic adventures (and now- finally- I can buy some to represent my own travels!!!). It's already generated a lot of conversation with my well- traveled students and families!

For the growth mindset board, I used different colored circles to display fixed versus growth mindset examples. I hope to have students try their hand at creating some of their own examples during guidance lessons. Check out the original board at this blog.

Since then, I have added lamps to lessen the harsh nature of the fluorescent lights, and will one day add that locate-the-counselor sign. In the meantime, I am feeling more at home in my office. I was truly pleased to hear a student tell me the other day that he thought my office was comfortable and a good place to hang out in… worth all the effort, for sure!

Previous Experience
Soon after, a couple that I knew well returned from a year teaching middle school in a small town in China. They told everyone about their fabulous experience and made it widely known that an elementary school was hiring a full time ESL teacher with all expenses paid (room and board, airfare, etc). Then they approached me with the idea, leaning on their knowledge that I had lived in an Asian country when I was younger and that I had been incurably bitten by the travel bug. Eventually, I caved and agreed to speak with the owner of the private school. To make a long story short, I ended up teaching in a small town in southern China for ten months. I taught approximately 600 preK- grade 6 students with no supplies except paper, pencil, and chalkboards. It was a wonderful experience in many ways: I was thrown headlong into Chinese life, made lifelong Chinese friends, and learned how resilient, creative and stubborn I can be! However there were challenges. I did not go with an organization, so I did not have anyone to advocate for healthcare, to deal with government red tape, or to negotiate with administration that only spoke Chinese. It could be isolating and there were few (if any) who could relate to my culture shock or struggles in communicating lessons to students with no curriculum! It turned out just fine, but upon returning to the United States, I knew that if I went overseas again, I'd want to go with an established school with more supplies on hand and a staff of other international educators who were in similar circumstances.

Starting the Search
This winter, I began to consider a search for a job overseas once again. This time, I had a few advantages: Internet tools, recommended job fairs and "head-hunters," friends who had successfully navigated this experience, and a better idea of what I did and did NOT want in an international job. Upon much research and friends' recommendations, I decided to attend the University of Northern Iowa Overseas Recruiting Fair in Waterloo, Iowa (This is certainly not your only option, of course! I have heard great things about International Schools Services and Search Associates, as well). The UNI Fair is held annually in late January- early February over the course of one weekend (and you should be prepared: it WILL be very cold!). The UNI Educators' Fair is well respected and draws recruiters from about 200 prestigious international schools all around the world. If you are a teacher, you have a strong chance of landing a job if you really want one. For school counselors, there are fewer schools in need and therefore the competition is a little more intense. I weighed the options, the costs, and my desire to go and applied in December 2013- less than a month before the actual fair. There are many steps to the application process, and I highly recommend that you complete the process as early as possible so that you will have the time to research schools and contact recruiters before the fair (I found that many attendees already had jobs or scheduled interviews before they had even arrived to the fair, which put them at a major advantage, of course).

How a Job Fair Works
I am speaking for my experience at UNI, and other fairs may differ widely. However, I would guess many aspects are similar and might help provide insight for future job hunters. There was a general orientation that explained the ins and outs of the fair, but I found that the UNI website did a thorough job of explaining procedures (so read the entire packet)! There were sets of files for both attendees and recruiters to communicate, such as invitations, recruitment information, and thank you notes. Attendees milled around, obsessively checking their email, waiting for the recruitment fair to begin; I found this to be an excellent time to network, ask questions of more experienced international educators, and learn about their experiences at schools I was interested in. It was also just plain FUN to connect with others who are passionate about both education and travel!!

Attendees gathered as a group at the doors to the fair; it was rather reminiscent of a cattle drive! Inside the large hall, recruiters were stationed at numbered tables in long rows. We were all eager to rush in, find our most desirable schools, and attempt to schedule interviews with recruiters. I had not been aware that interviews were scheduled on the hour for almost the rest of the weekend, so I felt unorganized initially. I sat down and created a hastily drawn up schedule of times, school and recruiter names, and the location of the interview; I recommend you have a similar system if you attend. I did, however, have an accordion file with copies of my resume (color copied with a photo!), references, transcripts, letters of recommendation, and a few samples of work from my online portfolio; I brought a mini stapler and paperclips to keep my papers together for the recruiter. I found this helped to talk some recruiters into giving me an interview, even if they were booked solidly. Don't give up- be persistent in selling your skills to recruiters!

After I had visited all of the most desired schools, I walked around and chatted with other recruiters. There were a limited number of elementary counseling positions available, and few schools were willing to talk with someone who had little experience working with International Baccalaureate students at the high school level (something I would like to learn more about!). I have experience as an elementary teacher, however, so I talked with recruiters in locations that I have always dreamed about visiting; more as future reference than as any serious exploration at this point. I recommend this, as I found out about other schools and what types of skills & attributes are most valued by recruiters. This would be particularly valuable to candidates new to job search and interview process in general.

Interviews
Interviews were held in the conference center, hotel rooms, and over meals, and often extending far into the evening or early in the morning, depending upon the recruiter. Most recruiters seemed pressured to hire, and I found it was essential to get them small talking to help them to relax and focus! I had created a list of questions to ask, which was extremely helpful when it came time to decide which- if any- offer I would accept. Recruiters knew their schools well, and it was abundantly clear with whom I would like to work. They all seemed anxious to receive an answer by the following day, and I would recommend that you be prepared for this before you go! I found that many attendees expressed feeling a lot of anxiety about such a short turn-around.

Other Logistics
When I arrived at the fair, I stayed at a cheaper hotel further away from the conference center. I would not recommend this. Staying at or near the center provided some with far more flexibility in meeting with recruiters and attending informational sessions. Shuttle rides were adequate but not always convenient for meetings (plus- did I mention it was cold!? It was -4* one morning).  Attend the informational sessions held by recruiters of schools about which you are not certain. Bring healthy snacks, as days can get long and eating out can be tricky with back to back interviews. Internet was slow at times, and it might help to have access through a cell phone service. Ask questions of the staff- they were knowledgable and willing to help.

Network with other attendees and recruiters whenever you can! Not just before the fair, as mentioned above, but any down time you have is perfect for striking up conversation with others. I met some great people that I want to stay in touch with, and learned about schools that I would like to research further or want to stay away from (usually due to unstable political environments).

End Result
After 8 interviews and 4 offers, I decided to accept an offer from an American school that serves the children of diplomats and business people in Doha, Qatar. This was based upon many factors but include: the warmth and general knowledge of the recruiter and school director, the quality reputation of the school both locally and internationally, the quality of professional development and opportunities to grow as a professional, the benefits offered, the location adjacent to many other countries I would like to visit, and the ability to learn about a culture I know little about. I am also pleased with how much the school has helped me to navigate the paperwork and procedures to relocate to another country! I'm excited to go forth and adventure, and can thank the UNI Fair for their help in this process.

Please send me questions or comments in the comment field below!

Can I start by saying that I really, really love this book? It is called Building Everyday Leadership in All Kids: An Elementary Curriculum to Promote Attitudes and Actions for Respect and Success by Mariam G. MacGregor M.S. (click the link to see it on Amazon.com). I originally bought it for a small group about- surprise!- leadership, but soon found myself adapting for all kinds of lessons and small group topics!

The book is divided into many subtopics that could be small groups in themselves: communication, team building, problem solving, making a difference, and my personal favorite: "understanding power, value, and relationships." Ms. MacGregor provides hands-on activities that may involve some preparation on the part of the group leader, but the pay off was worth it every time! Students loved every lesson or activity we tried- really!

Here are a few favorites:

• Choosing Sides: Students had the chance to decide what was most important to them by physically walking from one end of the room or the other during a long list of polarized (or slightly gray) opposites. Afterward, we talked about whether the similarities or differences surprised us, and if it is okay if we have different tastes, styles, and values.
• Leadership Talk Show: Students sat in partners. One was given the role of asking a question picked from a list, then listening to the partner silently for a set period of time (for fifth graders, two minutes was more than enough). Then we did some other steps (but you'll have to buy the book!) Such great discussions came out of this activity. Students seemed to truly understand how important it can be to be an active, but not overwhelming listener!
• Values for Sale: This activity turned out to be several students' absolute favorite. It is a "values auction" that includes EDL (EveryDay Leadership) funny money and a long list of values. I gave group members the chance to look over the values list for about five minutes and gave each member EDL cash. We set ground rules. After the auction, each member had a definitive list of personal values. There were personal revelations and some great discussion! And it was a great lead in to our values world activity, which I will blog about soon.

I can't say enough about the activities I have tried thus far, and I cannot wait to try even more in the coming year! Added bonuses: 

•  state standards for lessons! 
• a link to print activities online!
• suggestions on setting the tone (great for new counselors)!

Clearly, I highly recommend this book to school counselors at the elementary level, and also suggest that counselors working with older grades check out the other books by the same author:
Building Everyday Leadership in All Teens
Teambuilding with Teens

(And, no, I am not getting paid to say this. I'm just that enthusiastic! :)

Classroom Closure Lesson
As I've been wrapping up lessons in classrooms (grades 3-5), I have been using the crumpled heart metaphor. It's been a powerful lesson to end with, though you could easily use it mid-year during a unit on kindness or anti-bullying.

I started by having students each cut out a heart from a small red rectangle. Then, each student was asked to write four things:
1. your name
2. the name of someone important to you
3. an activity you enjoy
4. one word that best describes you

I talked with them about the importance of protecting our heart and sharing our information with people we trust. I showed them my own heart and gave examples of statements that could be made that would hurt my feelings, crumpling my example as I spoke (ex: If someone walked up to me and said "You like to read? Only nerds like to read!" My feelings might be hurt *crumple that section of the heart* and I might not want to read anymore. Or I would read, but keep it a secret...)

Perhaps the most powerful part was when I asked students to then crumple their own hearts- some students cried out in protest, others simply could not bring themselves to do it! We talked about why it was so hard, and how much words can hurt what we hold dear in our hearts. I walked up to several students and asked them about my heart, and they rushed to compliment or reassure me (without even prompting them!), which helped to "uncrumple" my heart. Students were then invited to walk around and say kind words that would uncrumple each other hearts. They loved this part!

At the very end of the lesson, we felt the softness of the wrinkled construction paper and discussed the term "soft hearted." We discussed how empathy ties into a soft heart, and how we can choose to speak kindness into others' hearts after our own hearts have been crumpled. It was a powerful way to end the year.

Small Group Closure Activity
For small groups in upper elementary, try completing a compliments mandala! Each group member draws a large circle and divides it into the number of people in the group (including me). Then each person writes their own name and a word that describes them (in case another group member is stuck- they can basically copy or do a slight variation). Pass the circles around, so each member can write their name and a compliment in a section of the mandala. Time given per person depends on the maturity level of students and how detailed you'd like them to be.  Students can keep the mandala as a reminder of the group experience.

Individual Session Closure Activity
With individual students, use a modified version of the feelings map. There is a wonderful worksheet on the Social Work Helper blog that you can download for free (check out the site, too)! It's a way to create some closure with students.

For this activity, I ask the student to complete a map that describes me, and I complete one for them. We brainstorm a list of words that could describe others. We write down 6 words that fit the other, then we color the map and discuss the time(s) we have met together. Then we trade the maps and share what we created. Students have the opportunity to remember the time spent together, and especially that they get to hear some of the qualities others see and appreciate in them. It's been a nice little warm fuzzy to wrap up individual sessions.