In the international community, it can be easy to dismiss goodbyes as old hat or just a routine to complete. Yet, every year, strong emotions erupt and can feel a bit out of blue... if you don't recognize and teach the five stages that David Pollock, the author of Third Culture Kids, calls the transition cycle:

1. Involvement. The first stage involves feeling settled and comfortable in a place that we know; we feel like we belong and know where we fit in. There may be some signs that moving may be on the horizon in a vague sense.
2. Leaving. The second stage is marked by the realization that we will be leaving our place of comfort. As we realize this, we may begin leaning away from our responsibilities, commitments and relationships. There are often mixed emotions during this stage. For example, we may feel both anxious about leaving and excited about moving to a new place.
3. Transition. This stage begins when we actually leave our place of comfort and ends when we make the conscious decision to settle into the new place. During this stage we may be confronted with chaos and stress.
4. Entering. This stage begins when we feel ready to become part of life in the new place. We begin to figure out how we should go about becoming accepted, start to reach out to others and take some risks.
5. Re-involvement. Finally, we reach the stage where we feel accepted in the new place. We begin to have the feeling that our presence matters and that we belong.

Not only the leaving students and their families (otherwise known in fancy terms as leavers), but those who remain behind (called stayers) are impacted by this cycle. Leavers are often most stressed in the second and third stages; stayers can be impacted most in the fourth stage when they realize the leavers really will not be returning.

Scroll down for ten ways that our school community has begun to acknowledge and support this process of transition.

My fabulous co-counselor, Karen, loves to try new things. We sit around and come up with crazy ideas in the hopes of meeting the needs that we see around our neck of the woods (not there are any woods in this desert...)! At the start of the year, we thought it would be a great idea to have a 4 week series for parents. So we put it in the master calendar... and promptly forgot about it! When January rolled around, we suddenly realized we were actually going to have to plan and present on four separate topics, each one being 1.5 hours long. Whoops!

Scroll down for the four topics we covered, along with just a few of the activities & resources we shared:

1. Parenting Styles & Skills
2. Fostering Skills in Executive Functions
3. Growth Mindset & Resiliency
4. Dynamic, Changing Families
(scroll down to read more!)

In addition to the staff adoption of three families (see the blog post, winter wishes, for details), the entire school is working together to collect food and hygiene products for families who may need the items over the winter break.

The principal of our school, who happens to be a masterful decorator, put up a gorgeous tree in the lobby.   In order to prepare my end, the following needed to be created (attached docs coming soon): 

• a list of items needed for each box
• labels with individual food/hygiene items
• about 500 die cut shapes (trees, circles, mittens)
• letter to send home with students
• a sign for the lobby ("Decorate the Giving Tree!")

I spent a week visiting all 24 classrooms to explain how the Giving Tree works:

• Every student must get permission from a parent/ guardian before participating.
• Students may take one or two blank, white ornaments from the tables in the lobby.
• Students decorate their blank ornament and bring it  back along with the item(s) listed on the label.
• Students then hang their ornament on the tree and put their donation underneath.

In two weeks, staff members will come together and organize the donated food into 10-15 boxes, then deliver the boxes to families in our community. And as the tree fills up with ornaments, the school can clearly see just how generously we can share! 

This time of year is always so fun, as everyone feels festive and generous. It's such a joy to participate in this spirit of giving during my first holiday season as a school counselor! 

My school has a tradition of adopting three or four families each holiday season, and this year I am the one to continue the (confidential) tradition. Each adopted family member made a wish list and the items will be purchased by staff members. Gifts will be wrapped while we enjoy a festive potluck brunch, then delivered during the annual "Ring & Run" (it's exactly like it sounds: we drop off presents and the Giving Tree food boxes at the families' front doors, then go out to celebrate our success). 

This year, I chose the theme "Winter Wishes" and decorated the staff lounge accordingly. First, there is a clothesline with the theme's letters and red mittens hung out to dry. Then I cut out snowflakes to add to our windows; I plan to add fake white snow and a few stray red mittens to the counter once all of the tags have been taken. Finally, I made the gift tags. I had originally planned to use die-cut mittens, but then I realized I could use the scraps from the die-cut trees I'd made as ornaments for our school wide Giving Tree. (That will be another post!) Staff members can use the tags to write a note and add it to the gift when it is wrapped at the brunch. I am hoping that every family member has their wildest winter wishes come true!